Top 12 most effective ways to ask someone to do something

Want to be more effective at driving results? Tailor your requests and your method of communicating them to significantly improve the quality of the response you receive while also reducing the time you wait to receive them.

Communication, delegation, Influence, Leadership

Top 12 most effective ways to ask someone to do something

Whenever possible, create and maintain relationships before you need them. When your request is to someone who knows and trusts you, it is less likely to be treated as a one-time transaction and more likely to be seen as a discussion to determine how to get you what you need. One of my best work relationships is with someone whose first conversation with me was at 3 am due to an emergency. He didn’t understand where I was coming from, and I didn’t understand his perspective, making it quite a heated discussion about how many people on each of our teams to wake up in the middle of the night to work on an issue. After the emergency was over, we both intentionally worked to create and then, over time, maintain a relationship. This improved our team’s morale while also making future collaboration on items much easier and more effective.
Be sure to explain why your request is needed in addition to what is needed. Adding this context helps the receiver understand priority and motivation. Consider these examples of things that I have received: “I need XYZ feature created for customer ABC” vs “I need XYZ feature created for customer ABC. They are making a decision this month on buying additional services, and they want to make a decision soon.”
Use the most appropriate communication method, based on the timeliness of your request and how recipients prefer to communicate. Remember that what works best when you receive requests of varying priorities may not be how others work. I am personally a fan of the Inbox Zero philosophy and am surprised when I see an inbox with thousands of unread messages. What I do is not necessarily best for everyone, even though it works quite well for me. If you know someone doesn’t use their inbox to determine what is needed of them in short order, ask them what method they do prefer.
Always include when you need something when you request it. Don’t assume those receiving the request will intuitively know this. They may not be able to do it when you want it, but it at least sets the expectation so they can prioritize accordingly. Consider this example “I need XYZ” (timeline unknown) vs. “I need XYZ by 10 am tomorrow” (must be a high priority) vs. “I need XYZ when you have time in the next month” (allows the receiver to prioritize this with their other work).
Use all available communication tools as appropriate. Different teams/people have different preferences and workflows. Remember that they may be different than your workflow. Consider if they prefer to receive a request via email, instant message, SMS message, audio call via instant messenger, audio call via work phone, audio call via cell phone, voice mail, or a ticket to be filed in a tracking system (such as Service Now, Remedy, Jira, etc). I prefer a phone call last. I get too many spam calls and don’t listen to my voicemails until much later in the day. Those who prefer to leave voice mails have learned to contact me via other methods first (such as instant messenger or iMessage).
Use common sense and don’t over-escalate your need, or it will lower morale and cause your future requests to get a lower priority than they may deserve. AKA: Don’t cry wolf.
Conversely, don’t under-escalate your need, or your critical goals may not be properly served. Make waves when necessary to do what is right for your critical goals and for your customers.
When requesting something via email, include a summary of the nature of the request at the beginning of the subject line. Everyone is busy, which will help the recipient triage your email effectively. Some examples: “Opinion requested,” “Help please need an answer by Monday, Feb 15” and “Help ASAP please”.
When trying to get someone’s attention in a group chat (such as Slack or Microsoft Teams), be sure to tag them by typing an @ sign before their name. That will trigger a push notification. I have coached a number of team members on this, as they often don’t remember or realize that leaving out the @ sign makes it more likely than not that their message will not be seen by the intended recipient.
Don’t assume recipients will receive push notifications the same way you do (in instant messages and email), since they are easy to miss and many users have them muted because they get too many. You may need to use other methods to contact them. Remember that not everyone operates the same way you do. Some keep their email inbox small, while others let it grow to thousands of unread messages and prefer other channels for timely requests.
Avoid creating emergencies for others due to substandard planning on your part. Plan ahead whenever possible so that those you work with can plan out their work and minimize “must do this now” interruptions. Emergency requests are surely sometimes warranted, but if overused, they impact the morale/motivation of those to whom you are making requests.
Pay attention to time zones. Avoid contacting someone on their cell phone when they are off work unless you have a true emergency.

Best practices for specific tools

If you don’t know the preferred method for contacting someone, ask them! The answer may not only surprise you but will also improve your effectiveness and working relationships.

Email

Consider whether you should email a team distribution list or a specific person. The team distribution list reaches more people, but generally, each person will have a lower motivation to respond than if you email specific people.
Use a descriptive subject line that summarizes what you need and when you need it.
If your request is high or low priority, consider marking it accordingly. This helps the receiver triage and prioritize. An example.
If you need to ensure you follow up if you don’t receive a timely response, use your email provider’s features to remind you. Example: Gmail, Outlook
Don’t assume that those receiving your email follow the same practices that you do for triaging and prioritizing your messages. You may need to use other methods.

Instant messenger

Consider whether to message the team or a specific person. The team reaches more people, but generally each person has lower motivation to respond than when you message specific people.
When trying to get the attention of specific people in a group channel/room, tag them individually so they will be notified of the message. This can be done in Slack, Teams, and WhatsApp by typing an @ sign before their name. (Your mileage may vary for other tools)
Don’t assume when they will see your message. Different people have different preferences for how they prefer to receive messages. Many have the notifications turned off as they get inundated with them.
Don’t assume that those receiving your instant message follow the same practices that you do for triaging your own messages. You may need to use other methods.

Phone

Ask the person what their preferred phone number is to reach them.
Avoid calling someone on their cell phone outside their working hours unless necessary.
Don’t assume that if you prefer phone calls or voicemail, others do too. You may need to use other methods.

Time zones

Create an easy way to determine the time zones of those you work with. I work with folks in 4 time zones in the US, 2 in Europe, and 3 in Asia. I find this to be indispensable. Some examples: Display multiple time zones in Windows / Display multiple time zones on your Mac.

Summary

Using best practices, such as those in this article, will help you be more effective and improve your professional relationships. Remember that how you prefer to communicate is often not how others do. Tailor your communication based on the receiver.